Captain America: Civil War

The Film Itself

So ultimately this was the same exact premise of Batman Vs. Superman. I feel like the film studios were trying to appease fans (something I hate) with these movies. For years fans have been sarcastically commenting on the fact that super heroes get away with destroying entire cities with no consequences and finally Marvel and DC have responded. Except Marvel did it so much better!!! This movie was SO GOOD!

I’m going to be honest, I’ve come into this phase where I always want to hate Marvel movies. I don’t know why. And I always like them anyways. As formulaic and cheesy as they seem they are always enjoyable. And clearly this movie had its formulaic and cheesy moments but it was still surprisingly good.

The writing was actually really amazing. The movie brought up a really interesting philosophical debate. On the one hand, the secretary of state with the great mustache brings up a great point: When the Avengers operate on their own they are imposing their own will on others. And the will of the few can often be skewed. Is it more correct than the will of the many? But at the same time can the UN privatize people? Take away their free will? My heart tells me no but my brain tells me yes. Which is why I don’t like the fact that Tony Stark was made out to be the bad guy the whole time. Like sure the Accords didn’t work out this time but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea overall. I think a happy medium needs to be found. I also really respect the fact that this movie could have easily been pushing a political agenda through this plot but they didn’t.

Now let’s talk about Tony Stark because holy crap his character was so juicy in this movie. Don’t get me freaking started on that scene ¬†when Captain America leaves with Bucky and leaves his shield behind. And Tony Stark is left alone with his pride and his baggage and no friends and it’s amazing and I LOVE IT. He’s such a tortured character with his guilt over everything and this movie is like his final breaking point. Hopefully he’s finally been pushed far enough to tame his ego. Also I love that they introduced the whole parents’ death thing earlier in the movie then brought it back as one of the main plot reveals.

I really like the Black Panther character and his fighting style. So cool. I thought the scene with his father was really touching until I realized it was just emotional manipulation cause his dad was about to die. Emotional Manipulation is not authentic and needs to stop (I’m looking at you N. Sparks). I get that the after-credits scene was setting up the Black Panther movie but it was uneventful and totally not worth it. I was also very upset at how long it took me to figure out who Black Panther was. It was before he took his mask off but not much sooner.

The Stan Lee cameo was cheesy and stupid.

The dialogue during the big Avengers fight scene was amazing and the new Spiderman is perfect. By the way, he was in The Impossible which is a really beautiful movie that you should all watch.

Elizabeth Olsen seems like she’s probably a really good actress beneath that oft-faltering Russian accent. Paul Bettany was also amazing and perfect as Vision. I guess Vision is ageless so it’s not creepy but I know that underneath it all Paul Bettany is waaay older than Elizabeth Olsen so it is creepy. Also, feel free to fight me on this, but I’d be hard pressed to say that Wanda isn’t the strongest Avenger. Also is she already completely over the fact that her twin brother is dead…?

I didn’t like the chemistry between the girl from Everwood and Cap and I also don’t like it when blonde people date because they look like siblings. But the chemistry between literally everyone else was amazing.

There is no way you could convince me that Chris Evans is not on steroids.

Martin Freeman’s non-Wisconsin American accent makes me upset but it’s okay because it’s Martin Freeman.

Bechdel Test

There’s some debate over whether this movie passes. Scarlet Witch and Black Widow share about two lines with each other at the beginning of the movie over surveillance and that’s it. However, I’m not too bothered by it because there are multiple badass female characters in this movie who fight and kick ass and they really don’t talk about guys. It’s awesome. Of course only two out of ten Avengers are women but progress I guess.

Fun Fact

Anthony Mackie (Falcon) and Sebastian Stan (Bucky Barnes) raced each other in costume at some point.

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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The Film Itself

I feel kind of like I’m cheating by doing a post about this movie because I’ve seen it before but it’s been long enough that I didn’t really remember what happened so you can all shut up. Even though you weren’t saying anything. Also weighing on my conscience: I recently watched Men, Women & Children and started a blog post but it didn’t save so screw that. All I have to say is I do not recommend it. It’s like an after school special on steroids. The only reason I could possibly recommend this is if you want to break your own sympathetic heart or if you want to see a couple of moments of really honest acting (specifically from Kaitlyn Dever and Rosemarie DeWitt).

Anyways, I love this movie. So good. It’s so unabashedly smart. It’s not witty and clever in a very deep and inspirational way. It’s in your face about how smart it is. Which is why Robert Downey Jr. is about as close as you can get to perfect casting. And don’t even get me started on Val Kilmer! Holy Crap! I want Gay Perry in my life. He needs to be at the top of every list of the most sarcastic characters in cinema. So great.

I will also say that my roommate is one of the worst people to watch movies with. However because of that, it teaches me more about the movie. For instance, my roommate has a habit of asking a lot of questions, mostly about what’s going to happen next. She was confused throughout this whole movie. But honestly it’s just cause she wasn’t paying attention. So pay attention if you watch this movie. Her review: Robert Downey Jr. is a sweetie, 8/10.

I don’t even know how to organize this post. I’m sorry. Bear with me. So let’s go with the writing first cause that’s by far the best part of the movie. God. So good and smart and sarcastic. I don’t even know what else to say. I love when movies use fourth wall breaks really well like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang does. Not only do they create an unreliable narrator, they also make fun of themselves and their audience. It’s “so meta”. They make fun of all the tropes they use, like (spoiler alert) Harry and Harmony being the kids from the home video and Gay Perry surviving in the end. They also make fun of the crime genre. I mean I think that’s what the cheesy music was all about. And that scene when Robert Downey Jr. plays Russian Rouelette!!! I love it when a movie can shock me. Very reminiscent of Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson. The only negative thing I will say about the writing is I feel like there was some discontinuity in the Harry character. He was smart sometimes and stupid other times? I mean I think maybe they were going for smart but uneducated or maybe he was smart but didn’t care? I don’t know. I feel Robert Downey Jr. was very fitting for this part but was maybe too smart for the character.

Now for my passion piece. Frickin Harmony. She makes me ashamed of womankind. Kind of. I mean she’s pretty much a bimbo but she is really smart I guess. I feel bad for calling her a bimbo because she’s had a tough life but COME ON! Have some self respect! I mean really?! You’ll give a guy a hand job just because it’s uncomfortable for him to have a boner ? What???? Jesus. I guess this is a good movie for girls to watch so they learn some self respect hopefully. And Harmony does provide a good foil to Harry, making him a surprisingly moral and sweet guy. Which was cool and unexpected and wonderful.

Quick word on the direction. I didn’t catch too much of it but I’m pretty sure it was good. I love indirect shots and there was this great one of Harry and Harmony having a conversation in the hotel room and the shot was focused on Harry with Harmony’s reflection to the side while she undressed. Soo cool.

Bechdel Test

This movie does not pass. I guess it’s kind of feminist through Harry, at least. Sigh. I guess Harmony’s a relatively actiony female character. Still a bimbo though.

Fun Fact

Gay Perry is generally considered the first openly gay character to lead an action film.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.

The Blog Itself

Just kidding my name is Emma. I’m here because I really like movies and I have a lot of thoughts about them. If you like what I have to say, that’s awesome. If you don’t, that’s cool too, but 1) I’m not an omnipotent superhuman who’s always right about everything and 2) this isn’t really about you. No offense or anything, but this is just a place for me to put my thoughts down. It’s not really a review site, well I guess it sort of is, I don’t know. Just know that there are major spoilers ahead.

The Bechdel Test

So this is how I plan to format all my blogs. I promise I’m not some crazy third wave feminist, but I do think there is a problem with sexism in our country. But mostly I just think the Bechdel test is really interesting. Well, I guess I find it really interesting that the majority of movies don’t pass the Bechdel test. Which says a lot about our society, but what can you do? I think if I were a director or something I would make sure all of my movies passed this test because it’s such a small thing that seems relatively easy to accomplish.

If you don’t know what the Bechdel test is, let me explain. A movie passes the Bechdel test if it meets the following qualifications:

  1. There must be two named female characters
  2. They must talk to each other
  3. They must talk about something other than a man

Fun Fact

My all-time favorite movie is The Princess Bride.